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Dark's LairMy one and only Dark Knight...
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October 19 The Animal WithinThe day is winding down,
The moon is rising, And slowly ever slowly, You feel the animal within. A silent call,
Almost silent yet louder still, You feel the urge, You feel the animal within. A cry escapes your lips,
One that isn't your own, And you notice the pull, From the animal within. A primal feeling,
A rush of energy, As you rush past trees, Listening to the animal within. Soon you aren't yourself,
Your human form forgotten, Since you've embraced it, Embraced the animal within. Surrounded by trees,
You're in a forest, Glowing eyes burning bright, Showing the animal within. With a new sight,
You look up to the moon, And howl the mystical call, The call of the animal within. And with new life, You embrace the freedom, Running eagerly, Now the animal from within. October 08 Requiring Some Thoughts...On Saturday I went to a dinner for thanksgiving. It was at my dad's girlfriend's daughter's house. When I was there though...my dad said something about me that just stayed with me. He was talking to his friend who kept interrupting, but he said something like: She doesn't think the same way we do, her mind works differently. She is an intellectual that thinks on a higher level than everyone else. Her thoughts aren't like ours, she doesn't think like other people or sometimes even about them. Her thoughts are higher. It's like she understands things that we don't and can make sense of things that wouldn't make sense to us. It's almost like she's living in a dream world of her own where her thoughts are her own and she follows what she feels she needs to or wants to. She thinks about things that probably wouldn't make sense to us, or thoughts that we wouldn't even think of. She lives life as she thinks she should and lives through her dreams. An Odd DreamIt was an odd dream. It started out that I was with different animals swimming in a lake. It was dark, but it reminded me of a gathering of friends. As they swam, I kept warning them to not go past the buoy to the deeper part, since some of the animals seemed like they weren't that comfortable swimming, but they were going further and further from shore. They ended up going passed the buoy line and I kept telling them to come back. I didn't go in the water though. They seemed to figure out that they had gone too far though and tried to come back. The animals were on the surface of the water and they all started to panic. They couldn't figure out how to get over the buoy line. One of them figured it out and lifted it, but didn't realize that there was more than one line. A few of the animals tried to go, but got tangled in the buoy line. There were three lines and different animals were trying to lift different ones, which caused more animals to get trapped. Then they started to all die. Their lifeless bodies floated back to the shore. There was a muskrat, a giant snake, a raccoon, a fox and some other animals. Then an animal started swimming through the water. I noticed the ripples and looked to see who it was. It was the bear. It came out of the water and shook it's fur. The water sprayed all over, and I shook my head as some landed on my face. The bear approached me then and we spoke together for awhile. The other animals were still floating close to the shore, but we left them. I let out a small howl for them before the bear and I traveled off of the beach and into the forest. I'm not sure who the bear was but maybe it represented one of my friends. Suddenly, there was another animal too and we were all talking and walking through the woods. I wasn't really paying attention to the other animal though. because a sudden nagging feeling grabbed at me. The bear asked what it was when I kept pausing, but I said nothing and we continued on. Then my ears suddenly picked up and I was drawn to something...something that this time I couldn't ignore. Without telling the bear and the other animal anything, I was suddenly running. Something inside me was being drawn towards a destination and all I could do was follow it instinctually. I was running in the forest and then there were other wolves at a crossroad. Some of them looked dead as if they had come back alive from being buried in the ground. Their carcasses still moved though and their empty eyes bore into me. But there were others were alive like I was. We were all running together after a brief pause; all being drawn to something though none of us knew what it was. We ran until we were at another lake. This one had logs in it that seemed to move away from the shore and move as if the current was pulling them deeper and deeper into the lake in a straight line. It almost looked like they were being pulled by a rope, but there was nothing but the small logs and the water of the lake. We started making our way over the water by stepping on the logs and jumping across them. Then after that there were rafts fit together with many logs, so we kept on going with those. We each had our own and once we were upon it, they too moved along the same course. It was all leading to one spot and some of the wolves were falling behind or falling into the water so they had to return to shore. There were only so many rafts so some didn't make it. It was like a contest of who was to make it there. Then eventually we made it to a bigger raft where we all jumped from the smaller rafts and rested. We were all tired and panted, but we perked up when there suddenly was another animal that showed up. The animal was actually a human. It said that we had to do something before it disappeared and left somehow. I didn't know the other wolves though, so I had my ears down and was laying on my belly on a part of the raft where I was away from them. I didn't socialize with them since they were from a different clan that I had never seen before. I was wondering where my mate was though. I felt alone and estranged from everything since there was no one that I knew. I wondered if he had made it, or if he had fallen behind with the others. I kept looking around me through the other wolves, but I did not see him amongst them. There were different wolves that came to see who I was. They approached cautiously, and never alone. There was always at least two or three together. They tried to look at me and sniff at me in greeting, but I would always scurry off by myself, unsure of how to take their greetings. One time when I moved, I laid down and looked off in the distance of the lake that seemed thick with mist. I could see the banks of forests, but the raft continued on between them. I kept starring at this, and then looking back over the wolves that either cuddled together, spoke together, or looked at me with a wary yet curious gaze. As I looked at them, my ears perked up and I looked around and sniffed the air. I smelled a familiar scent, but I didn't see whom I was searching for. Thinking that this strange place was just playing with my senses, I put my head on my paws and closed my eyes to rest. It was then that I felt someone nuzzle my side and nibble at my ear. Looking up with a start, yet with anticipation, I saw that my mate was there beside me. He nudged me again and I licked his cheek in happiness that he was there. I was glad that he was there and had made it. It wasn't long after that the raft made it to the land. Here, there was another forest that covered the land. The mist clung to the trees here and something stirred in the air. It seemed peaceful though, and it felt right that we should be there. We all got off the raft slowly. The ground was cool against the pads of my feet and the air smelled sweet. My mate and I stood beside each other just taking in the land. The other wolves were around us though. They were curious about who we were but they showed acceptance and tried to invite us along with them. Looking to my mate, his eyes seemed to tell me that it was alright and he took a step towards the group. I put my paw on his for a moment as I looked up at him, then went ahead of him. He came up beside me and we joined the group together. After the dream, I woke up feeling like a wolf though. I felt somewhat more aware of my surrounding and my eyes were wide as if they didn't feel like my own, but that of a wolf's. There was also this feeling...sort of like something was calling me. Then I kept picturing a forest and then a native in the midst of a forest around a fire. It was a strange feeling and I wondered what it meant...especially since the night before I had a dream about wolves as well... October 06 A Diamond of Love"For all the diamonds in the world, I would not trade you nor our love...because within those exist the largest jewel of all." September 03 A Beginning to an EndWell...tomorrow is the start of another school year. This year happens to be my last year of high school and pretty soon I'll be finally 18. Things have seemed to be slowly changing but at the same time, I already find myself feeling trapped. I've been very tired of everything around me lately and I'm not really looking forward to adding another routine to my existing ones. But...I also know that in life there are certain things that you just have to suck up and deal with, which I know school is one of them. I'm excited at the chance to learn new things and advance through doing that, but yet I know that there will be certain things that I will have to deal with everyday that I'm not looking forward to. I've been thinking about it today though...and I've pretty much decided to make some goals for this year. 1) Don't hang around with stupid people that just bring negativity and problems to my life that don't necessarily involve me, or try to ignore the people in flaunting relationships because I know that what I have is better and will last 2) Try to limit contact with those said people as much as possible 3) Don't be too giving or feel the need to help everyone since in the end it doesn't help me 4) Try to reach my academic goals to the best of my abilities 5) Don't let work interfer with school 6) Don't sweat the small stuff and try not to be stressed 7) Force myself to go to school even on those days where I feel stuck in a rut or routine and just don't feel like getting up 8) Try not to be late 9) Don't put up with bullshit and ignore comments, even when I feel the need to say certain opinions 10) WALK AWAY! So hopefully I will be able to stand by those and then I won't be in bad moods and take it out on my wonderful boyfriend. But I dunno...things feel different lately and school I think will be very different for me this year as well. All I know is that some days will be tough, but I will keep those positive things close to heart and by doing so...I'll stay strong. |
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